See, clubland's popular wisdom strikes again. Apparently boffins have confirmed that Ketamine, which the moral panic whipping Cassandras of the anti-drugs world denounce loudly as "horse tranquilizer", can relieve the symptoms of depression within minutes or hours, rather than the days and weeks that current anti-depressant drugs can take.

The relief from symptoms can apparently also last a whole week, so one dose (probably on a Saturday night during a particularly manic episode brought on by bad music and the proximity of smelly lumps jiggling bottles of alco-pop at you) will last all week.

But, they say "the drug’s hallucinogenic side effects mean it is unlikely to be prescribed to patients". Oh. Why bother? It's enough to make one depressed all over again.

My advice...buy a small share in a racehorse and get to know the vet.

Whatever next? MDMA relieving the pressure of social situations for the chronically shy? Home Office staff handing out Soma with passports? You never know.

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